It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to
change the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order
to get into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day the day
you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the
following day. So the next day at 12:01 the first person
came to the gates of Heaven.
The angel at the gate, remembering about the new law,
promptly asked the man, "Before I can let you in, I need you
to tell me about he day you died.
"No problem.", said the man. "Well, for some time now, I've
thought my wife was having an affair. I believed that each
day on her lunch hour, she'd bring her lover home to our
25th floor apartment and have sex with him. So today I was
going to come home and catch them.
Well, I got there and busted in and immediately began
searching for this guy. My wife was half naked and yelling
at me as I searched the entire apartment.
But, damn it, I couldn't find him! Just as I was about to
give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and
noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his
fingertips! The nerve of that guy to think he could hide
Well I ran out there and promptly stomped on his fingers
until he fell to the ground. But, wouldn't you know it, he
landed in some bushes that broke his fall, and he didn't
die. This p...... me off even more so in a rage I went back
inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to
throw at him. And oddly enough, the first thing I could grab
was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the
balcony and heaved it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories
and crushed him!
The excitement of the moment was so great that right after
that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly." The
angel sat back and thought for a moment. Technically, the
guy did have a bad day, and it WAS a crime of passion, so he
announced, "OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven.", and
let him in.
A few seconds later the next guy came up. "OK. Here's the
rule. Before I can let you in, I need to hear about the day
"Sure thing.", the man replied. "But you're not gonna
believe this. I was out on the balcony of my 26th floor
apartment doing my daily exercises when I got a little
carried away and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily
however, I was able to catch myself by my fingertips on the
balcony directly beneath mine. When all of a sudden this
crazy man comes running out of his apartment and starts
cussing and stomping on my fingers!
Well of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes on the
way down which broke my fall so didn't die right away. As
I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to move and
in excruciating pain, I see the man push his refrigerator,
of all things, over the ledge and it falls directly on top
of me and kills me!"
The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes
his story. "I could get used to this new policy.", he thinks
to himself. "Very well.", the angel announces. "Welcome to
the Kingdom of Heaven",and he lets the man enter.
A few seconds later the third man in line comes up to the
gate. "Tell me about the day you died.", said the angel.
"OK. Picture this.", says the man. "I'm naked inside a